How To Identify a Real Santa

We've long explained the proliferation of Santas (and varying qualities of their Santa gear) by telling the kids that Santa Claus is very busy and sometimes needs to employ "helper" Santas. The Helper Santas report back to the big guy at the North Pole. So when the kids see Santa at the store, or at the ward party, or at the Northfield VFW, I ask them whether they think this is the Real Santa or one of the Helpers. They've determined that the Wal-Mart Santa is definitely a Helper. The others can be hard to tell.

Lucy has decided that if she's ever seen the Real Santa, it has to be the Santa from the Polar Express ride. I have to say, he's one cool Santa. Scraggly white (and obviously real) beard, brocade Santa gown, and big gold hoop earrings. Kind of a cross between Captain Jack Sparrow and St. Nick. The Polar Express Santa has Santa's larger-than-life presence and deep Ho-Ho-Ho, but other than that, this Santa is like no other Santa we've seen.

Yesterday the kids and I were at the Berlin Mall getting some "angel tree" gifts. (Santa needs help meeting with good girls and boys, and he also needs help making sure that every single child gets a toy for Christmas.) Lucy and Gavin saw Santa and wanted to tell him about the toys they found.

So was this Real Santa or a Helper Santa? Definitely a Helper, Lucy stated. "How can you tell?" I asked her.

"I checked, Mom. He didn't have pierced ears!"

So there you go. It's not the quality of the beard or the kind of fuzzy red suit he's wearing. You'll know it's Real Santa by his earrings.