Pheasants of the World, Unite!

An actual paragraph from an actual student essay exam:

"Sebastian Lotzer's publication of the "Twelve Article of the Pheasants" would embolden pheasants to revolt against the nobility. Demanding ammends and entitlements, pheasants began a social insurrection. Resembling the challenges of the religious upheaval, the pheasants' audacity to unite for social reform would not been communicable if it was not for the capabilities of the printing press."

Forget the peasants, the real problems for the nobility in early modern Europe were caused by the pheasants! I can only imagine the flapping, fluttering, and dive-bombing involved in the pheasants' social insurrection! Good thing they learned how to use a printing press, though I worry about whatever they have that might be "communicable."

I haven't laughed so hard while grading since last semester's student essay on "Martian" Luther. The great reformer from Mars.

Sugar Sugar

Another beautiful family ski day at Sugarbush! I'm kinda liking our new family hobby. I also like that Austin found a way for us to do an expensive sport for dirt cheap thanks to Craigslist, ski swaps, and Champlain College faculty ski passes.

For all you doubters out there (mostly in my immediate family . . .) Austin managed to get a few shots of me ACTUALLY SKIING today. Wedge turns are starting to become Stem Christies and I'm beginning to take a line down the mountain rather than zig-zagging top to bottom. (The kids are happy with that -- I'm getting down faster!)

Gavin is doing awesome. He's figured out how to make his skis turn. Now he's the one zig-zagging all over the mountain. (Notice how we are the only ones on the hill? That's Lucy in the background. I LOVE the Sugar Run Trail!)

And Lucy is being very patient doing the green runs while her mom and brother learn. Gavin and I took a break so Austin could take her up the "big" mountain on the quad today. They may have to go on a ski-date or two before the season is over so she can work on her skills, too.

Now here's what's sad -- both kids have decided that they actually want to be snowboarders. I think it's the influence of all that freestyle terrain we pass on the lift. We've told them they can do snowboarding only after they become really good skiers, so that's what they're shooting for at the moment. I hope Uncle Dylan is willing to come out and teach them. Though I suppose if Lucy took Torah Bright as a role model, I wouldn't mind that so much! Yes, Mormon girls can grow up to win Olympic gold medals in snowboarding . . .

Daddy-Daughter Dance

Tonight there was a Valentine's day dance for fathers and daughters at a fancy hotel in Montpelier. Austin picked out this outfit for the occasion.

But, Lucy gave the kilt the veto so Gavin decided to try it on while Austin changed into his suit.

Lucy took plenty of time getting ready so she would look just perfect.


She and her dad practiced some of their dance moves so they would be all set when they got there.

There was punch and popcorn and chocolate kisses and balloons and music and lots of happy, giggly little girls doing the funky chicken with their dads. Then they went to a nice restaurant with friends and ordered ice cream sundaes.

We just put our little valentine princess to bed after her big night. Her verdict? "This was the best night of my life. It was heaven."

Oui Oui! We got a Wii!

A few Saturdays ago it was too cold to go skiing, so we drove to Burlington and bought a Wii. Or, as our francophone Gavin says, a "oui oui!" That means we can now simulate playing outdoor sports without actually having to go outdoors. It's great fun for those long sub-zero days. I wonder why it took us so long to get one?

Actually, there's a good reason it took us so long to get one. Until last week, we only had one tiny TV. To get a Wii, we would need a bigger TV, a major lifestyle shift for us. And since a bigger TV wouldn't fit in the same space the little TV did, we would have to find a new place for a TV. A place with plenty of space to wave the Wii wand around without the kids accidentally smacking each other with it while playing Wii tennis, bowling, or baseball. (We quickly discovered the reason the wand is encased in a cushion, and has a wrist strap!) So getting a Wii meant moving the table to a new dining room, the tan couch to the living room, the green couches to the former dining room (and back, and forth, until I was happy with the arrangement), the computer, bookcases and filing cabinets to the former TV room, and the big chair down from the bedroom. It meant buying not only a new TV, but also a new TV cabinet and a new braided rug to go under the table. It still means catalogs strewn around the house as I try to decide what new rugs and curtains we are going to need for our newly-reorganized space. Possibly the most expensive and time-intensive Wii purchase ever. But worth it. Oui oui!

More fun in the Snow!

Family Ski Saturdays have been going very well. Gavin is getting the hang of standing up on his skis and balancing. As I might have predicted, he much prefers "make train tracks" to "make a pizza" because he likes to go FAST with his Dad on the harness keeping him under control. So once again, I am the slowest skier in my family. (But improving!)

I got this picture of Lucy riding up the lift with me. I couldn't get any action shots of her because she zooms down the mountain so quick. One of these days I'll have to wait at the bottom and get a picture of her on the way down.

A couple of Saturdays ago we took a break and went up to Montreal. I took the kids to the Biodome where they had a play area dedicated to animals that live in the ice and snow and cold. Lucy and Gavin make great snow creatures.

Can you tell which one is Lucy?

Ski Bunny

I took my first ski lesson on Thursday. An old Vermont ski-hippie named Phred took me out on the hill for the $50 beginner group instruction. Since the group consisted only of me, it turned into an intense two-hour private lesson, at the end of which my legs were so wobbly that Austin had to clip me out of my skis and take my boots off for me. I walked like a bow-legged cowboy the rest of the day. When I could walk.

Phred, I told my instructor, the stakes are pretty high on this ski lesson. You gotta understand, Phred, I'm not just a 36-year-old, completely non-athletic person who had a sudden urge to throw herself down a mountain. I have been avoiding this for YEARS, and now that I've finally faced up to it, failure isn't an option for me. Here's what you gotta know, Phred.

1. My husband Austin loves to ski. My daughter Lucy loves to ski. And now that my son Gavin is coming on board it's extremely likely that they are going to want to do this as a family every Saturday from November through March for the next 20 years.
2. My dad skis. All six of my brothers and sisters ski. All their spouses / significant others ski. All their kids ski. Everybody but me.
3. Actually, not everybody: my mom doesn't ski. But she does work for Snowbird and provides all members of the family with Snowbird ski passes, Snowbird T-shirts, Snowbird sweatshirts, Snowbird stickers, and Snowbird lip balm.
4. I grew up in Salt Lake, at the bottom of Big Cottonwood Canyon, half an hour from four major world-class ski resorts. I now live in Central Vermont, in close proximity to several more.
5. Austin has (somewhat optimistically) outfitted me with my own skis, boots, helmet, goggles, Vermont-essential balaclava, and a season pass to Sugarbush.

I think Phred felt the pressure, and if I may say so, I think we both did a great job. By the end of the lesson I was doing fabulous wedge-turns down the mountain and only falling down occasionally.

We went back up to Sugarbush on Saturday so Lucy could "teach" me some more. Lucy's instruction technique mostly consisted of zipping by me yelling "MOM, why are you going so SLOW? Just point down the hill and GO!" I opted for Phred's advice instead. We went up the mountain again this afternoon, with Gavin at the babysitter so Lucy could race her Dad instead of waiting for her Mom to make her laborious way down to the chair lift. I'm getting a little faster, more confident and less wobbly, and I'm hoping to spend some more time with Phred this week or next. I'd like to learn how to ski with my knees together someday.

Right now I'm going to ignore my aching legs and tell you what I LOVE about skiing.

• I love watching my daughter fly down the mountain, arms and legs splayed out like a big pink letter X, racing hell bent for leather all the way to the bottom.
• I love watching Austin ski. He looks so graceful and serene. (Will I ever look like that?) I love that he always stays with Lucy but he always lets her win.
• I love riding up on the Sunshine Double lift and watching the snowboarders do jumps and tricks on the freestyle terrain below me. If they can do that, maybe I . . . ? (Or maybe not.)
• I love going to Sugarbush on a weekday when I'm the only one on the hill. Nobody to crash into, nobody to see me fall . (Not even Austin and Lucy, who lap me every time. They get in two runs for every one of mine.) We literally had the Sugar Run trail completely to ourselves this afternoon. I could follow Austin's tracks all the way down.
• I love my family. That's why I'm doing this!

Gavin's Self-Portrait